Five Annoying Signs of Perimenopause
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If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s (perhaps even 30s) who no longer feels like yourself, you could very well be in perimenopause. Perimenopausal symptoms are annoying, odd, and surprising, and they all leave you asking, WTF? Read on for a handful of examples.
- Your memory has gone to shit.
We can all get sidetracked in a conversation. Perimenopausal women, however, excel at getting lost in their own one-sided conversations. You’ll be in the middle of a sentence and forget where you were going with that thought. You will lose track of what you were saying, what you were doing, where you were going, and why you were going there. You will forget where you set this and where you last placed that. If you hide something from your children (whether it’s their iPad for a period of time due to a punishment or a Christmas gift you don’t want them snooping for), you won’t have a clue where you hid it until you accidentally stumble upon it six months to three years later.
- You struggle to focus on anything.
I used to be so on top of things. In job interviews, I raved about my incredible ability to multitask. I was the queen at having 15 tabs open in my mind at all times and firing on all cylinders as I zipped through those tabs. In perimenopause, however, I get sidetracked every damn second. I’ll start up the stairs to brush my teeth and find myself folding a basket full of laundry. I’ll go to the basement in search of wrapping paper and start sorting through filing cabinets. I’ll take everything out of the pantry with plans to organize it, then decide I should fill up the salt & pepper shakers, and next thing you know I’m sneezing, so I head upstairs to grab a box of Kleenex and begin vacuuming. This goes on and on and on. All. Damn. Day.
- You have the face of a teenager, but with wrinkles.
I was naïve to think that post-puberty I would never again have to deal with acne. But then came pregnancy and with it, a surge in hormones. Hello again, zits! I was doubly naïve to think I was through buying pimple patches once I was done birthing kids. Wrong again! With perimenopause comes a fluctuation in hormones. Hello again, zits! Only this time, my acne was mixed with facial hair and wrinkles. Now, THIS is enough to make you rage, and rightfully so. It’s unfair that we must battle acne not just in our prepubescent years but again when we’re pregnant and again in mid-life. I call bullshit.
- Your eyes are dry as the desert.
I’m a wimp when it comes to all things “eye.” I’d rather endure a pap smear or have a tooth pulled than undergo an eye exam that requires anyone or anything to touch my eyeball. This is why the thought of having LASIK surgery makes my stomach turn. I’d sooner ride a camel wearing nothing but a thong than have someone come at me with a laser while I lie there awake! Anyway, I digress as I always do in perimenopause. About a year ago, dry eye began plaguing me. On the one hand, it’s no big deal to squirt a couple drops of saline into my peepers once or twice a day. Unfortunately, my dry eye acts up the most when I’m driving, which is a hassle. I never thought I’d say the sentence, “I miss my young moist eyes.” But I do. I really do.
- You lie awake at night, rethinking your whole fucking life.
Oh, how I miss the days of falling into bed in the evenings and waking up in the morning, refreshed and refocused. I don’t really recall the nights because I slept straight through them, without stirring, tossing, turning, and fretting about every damn thing in my life. God, those were the days. Once I entered perimenopause, I could practically set my watch to the exact time I would wake up, knowing that I would spend the next several hours thinking through all the stupid things I had said or done that day or the day before or the week before or the month before. Between the hours of 2 and 5 a.m., no topic was off limits. Society will make you think this is just part of growing older and/or that anxiety is simply part of life. Really, it’s perimenopause being an annoying little bitch.
Has perimenopause commandeered your body & your brain, wiped you of your energy & enthusiasm, wreaked havoc on your sleep & sex drive, and left you feeling like a shell of your former self? Are you feeling confused, stuck, isolated, unseen, misunderstood, exhausted, and ticked off? If so, Why Did I Walk into This Room? Finding the Humor When Perimenopause is Kicking Your Ass is for you. This relatable read not only shares helpful insights on how to find relief from perimenopausal symptoms but it also promises plenty of laughs along the way—all while reminding you that you are not alone during this precarious perimenopausal journey. You’ll laugh out loud as you read this collection of essays, all while saying, “Same, sister!”, “Amen, mama!”, and “OMG, yes!”
If you’re looking for hope, humor, and healing as you navigate perimenopause, Why Did I Walk into This Room? is just what the functional medicine doctor ordered. Pre-order your copy today: Why Did I Walk Into This Room? Finding the Humor When Perimenopause is Kicking Your Ass – Braughler Books Store